49 and approaching the half century!

Well here I am, a few days past my 49th birthday with a new perspective on life. While I ascend to my half century I have decided to be the "positive fairy". I have spread my positive fairy wings and sprinkled my positive fairy dust everywhere I go. You know something.....my new outlook on life actually helps me feel a whole lot happier! However, I'm certain the plethora of positive affirmations I constantly spew annoys the shit out of everyone else!!!

I had a euphoric two and a half weeks with the new drugs. I was certain I would never cry again nor would I ever have another anxiety attack or panic attack in public. Ughhh...wrong. But with that said, I noticed when I cried it was a normal cry and I got over it. I also have cried far fewer times. I still have anxiety but I'm not busting out of my skin. I haven't had a serious panic attack either so what I'm beginning to understand is perhaps I needed medication to help make me feel just.... Well....normal. Like everyone else who sometimes feels sad and sometimes feels happy. I'm past the side effect stage which was just a bit of exhaustion. Oh yeah... I have Fibromyalgia too so exhaustion and I are old friends. 

I had a conversation with a dear friend this week who asked me why I haven't fallen apart into a million billion little pieces. I explained to her that I am delicately held together with glue that's not quite dry yet. She asked me, " is it CRAZY glue". I replied. " Yeah, for now it's crazy glue, but I'm working towards SUPER glue".